Post by Archerlad on Jul 5, 2008 1:47:00 GMT -5
Warning. A few parts of this story may be inapropriate to persons under the age of 13. Nothing explicit though. Just suggestive.
Chapter One
The Orc Invasion
Once upon a time, in a land far far away Archerlad had just donned his pirate coat over his freshly cleaned tunic, when there was a knock at the door of his Inn room. He went to answer the door, but realized that it could be someone urgent that he leave immediately (because he was the town hero, he was always asked to kill a wolf that had eaten a farmer's sheep, or take a bandit leader into custody), so he grabbed his swordbelt and black and red captain's hat (before his ship had been repossessed by the loansharks [Archerlad had a huge tab at the Inn bar, and gambled most of his plunder away at dice and cards] he had been a captain, with a crew of 13, who manned a boat more majestic than the Guardian Tower, who had never lost a battle when they were under the influence of a good glass of rum! He kept his hat as a reminder never to drink and gamble at the same time. In current times, it was more a symbol to the people though.) and turned the pollished brass knob. The Inn's head waitress stood regally with a message in one hand.
"Message for you, Archerlad" she proclaimed in her formal tone that she would have used if she was talking to her own mother.
" From who?" Archerlad questioned as he plucked the wax-sealed envelope from the waitress' hand.
" Why don't you read it and find out?" she sarcasticly suggested
So Archerlad went inside to get a letter opener (too many minor heroes had tried to kill him because he took all the good jobs. Poison needles in the wax seal was one of their favorite attempt methods. Deadly insects were also another.) He stomped on the letter once, his massive black laced-up boot leaving a dirty imprint on the once clean paper. He then cut the seal with his mini Big 100K letter opener (an exact replica of his own) and opened the letter. Inside were two objects. A letter, and a strange totem. He first removed the letter.
"Archerlad, it seems a primitive tribe has constructed a small fort and camp too close to the city for the citizen's liking. Please try to negotiate with the tribe to see if they will move their camp to a farther location. Also, this is a totem of some kind that we found near the camp. We had no desire to enter, but we saw no gate guards. If you recognize it in any way, it may assist you in the diplomatic mission to the strange camp. If that does not work, you are authorized to use any force short of evil power.
- The Mayor"
"Authorization, funny..." he chuckled to himself as he discarded the letter and examined the totem. "Not ringing any bells..."
After dismissing the waitress, Archerlad strapped the swordbelt and jet black sheath over his freshly ironed cream colored breeches, and headed out the door.
As Archerlad was passing through the common room of the Inn, he grabbed a young man's turkey leg off his plate. As the man started to protest, Archerlad swung the turkey leg around and hit the man square in the nose. The man let out a cry of pain, and fell to the ground, but alive and concsious. Archerlad took a bite out of the turkey leg as he exited through the in-door as a young lady wearing a rasberry beret (the kind you find at a secondhand store) entered through the out-door. The man with the strange hair and girly voice turned around to look at her. Archerlad took this moment to ask her up to his Inn room, and got a slap in the face for his trouble.
Archerlad rode his horse, a plain but strong steed named Shnapps, to the edge of town, and scouted for the strange fort. The mayor neglected to describe it's exact location, but Archerlad found it 2 miles to the east of town. When he reached the gates of the fort, he found it without guards. He rode back a little ways to tie his horse to a stake he had stuck in the ground. He walked back to the fort, and entered, this time in the correct door.
He was immediately greeted by two seven-foot-tall green
men, very muscular and without shirts. They each carried a club with a head the size of a baby, with totems like the one he carried in his pocket on sinews around their necks.
" I come to negotiate the movement of your settlement." he declared as slow and loud and enunciated as he could manage. But the green men, orcs, he figured, only responded in grunts.
Right when Archerlad was going to ask them to take him to their leader, they rushed him with clubs drawn. He whipped out his own weapon, the Big 100K, just intime to decapitate the closer orc, and to parry the other orcs swing. The orc's club was cleaved in two, and the orc rushed him with fists raised. Archerlad punched the orc in the shortribs with his free hand, which delayed the orc long enough for him to drive his sword through its mid-section.
A gong sounded somewhere in the camp, and orcs rushed
out by the hundreds, all with clubs or axes. Archerlad knew he didn't stand a chance taking them all on at once, so he vaulted up to the top of one of the crudely built wood-and-stone huts. The orcs didn't have any ranged weapons. The orcs tried to climb up, but there were few places were the roof was low enough to climb on to, and any who dared grab the roof had their heads hewn off by a sweeping blow of the pitch black sword, now stained with thick, dark blood.
A few orcs left and came back with massive hammers, even larger than their clubs, and began demolishing the building. Archerlad had to think quick. He drew throwing knives, hoping to kill the hammer-bearers and end the demolition, but more and more brought hammers, and he only had 12 knives.
He concentrated all his will into how he could escape the orc rampage, and he felt a warmness, not physically, but somehow in his thoughts. He embraced the warmness in his mind. Words flew through his mind. Not his words, these words were in a tongue he had not heard before. He pondered these words, forgetting the orcs for a moment.
"Sendai leo nasur?" he pondered, and at that moment floating ice crystals appeared above his fingertips. He visualized the ice crystals shooting out at the orcs, and he flicked his hand in the direction of a hammer-wielding orc. The crystals elongated into razor-sharp shards and propelled themselves through the orc at an intense speed, exploding as they embedded themselves in the orcs flesh.
"What on Lore is this!?!?" he exclaimed to himself as he shot hundreds of ice blades into the crowd of orcs, now in the thousands around his temporary defensive position. Then four massive brutes came out of an elaborate building at the middle of the camp. They wore heavy plate armor, and wielded axes the size of the normal orcs. They lumbered towards Archerlad.
Archerlad released a flurry of shards, atleast 100 in number, in a matter of seconds at the four giant orcs, but the ice shattered on their armor, harmlessly. Archerlad knew they would overpower him in close combat. His thoughts flew back to the letter.
"No using evil power, eh? Then maybe I should use evil power!" he joked to himself, but meant. He focused his vision on the only truely evil object he knew. An object won in a game of cards, many years ago, before he was even a pirate captain. The Big 100K.
He channeled the energies flowing through his hands into the blade. He concentrated about every orc there, melting into nothing, imploding into themselves. Then, the sword shook violently. It quivered with all the rage of a wild boar charging at an exposed hunter. Beams of infinite darkness flew from the tip of the blade, still pointed at the sky, but curved down upon the orcs. By the hundreds, orcs seemed to evaporate. Even the berserker orcs, as Archerlad began to call them, evaporated.
Then there were none left. The camp seemed deserted. Archerlad climbed off the roof. As he turned to the door, he heard heavy footsteps behind him. As he turned, he gazed in wonder at the newly appeared orc. Wearing platemail as thick as a wall, with a spiked helmet and a sword as tall as the orc himself, he carried all of it like it was paper. He walked unhindered torward Archerlad. Archerlad sent beams of dark energy at the orc, but the beams were absorbed into a round, white medallion around the orc's neck.
Archerlad tried the ice blades. No luck. He would have to trust his blade to work as a blade. Archerlad waited for the great beast of an orc to charge, but it did not. Archerlad charged in return, only to be knocked to the ground with a fist the size of his head. Archerlad struggled to get up, but the massive orc kicked him down.
Archerlad noted a split between the orc's lower plateleg and the piece covering the knee joint. He silently drew a small, balanced knife from its secret sheath in his lower sleeve by shaking his right hand.
The orc raised it's sword high above its head, point facing down at Archerlads chest. Archerlad whipped his knife into the crack in the orc's leg armor, and hit it's mark. The knife penetrated the orc's knee joint, causing it to fall over. Archerlad rolled just in time to narrowly avoid the orc's massive green body. He grabbed his own sword off the ground and raised it triumphantly. He removed the orc's helmet with a flick of the blade, and removed the orc's head with a single, victorious blow.
The next day...
"Yeah, it was challenging." Archerlad said to his all-female crowd around his private Inn table. "But in the end, I managed to kill the 25 foot orc with only my fists, and one foot tied behind my back."
Archerlad thought for a moment on how lying isn't right, and then remembered that each one of his admirers had bought him a drink in the past few hours. Then he renembered that lying is fun.
Archerlad apoligized to his fans, but he had to go see the mayor. When he got to the City Hall, and asked for the mayor, his secretary ushered him through the door to his left.
" I thought I told you no evil power!" exclaimed the short, old mayor.
" And I thought you wanted the orcs dealt with." rebuttled Archerlad. "The problems eliminated, and I expect payment."
"Fine. The usual?" the mayor asked.
" Of course" replied Archerlad.
The mayor handed over 50,000 gold pieces and a footlong log of pepperoni. Archerlad exited the office. He fired the same question he had asked the rasberry beret woman to the secretary, and earned another slap across the face. He returned to the Inn, back to his Inn table, and eventually upstairs to his room, not alone, and continued to bask in the glory of herodom. On his way, he smirked at the same person he hit with a turkey leg only yesterday. The man glowered with his all-male friends.
THE END
The AQW in-game equivilent: I go from upstairs in the Inn, down to the commonroom. I go to orctown, kill everyone using freeze only, but there is no equivilent of dark magic or anything yet. And also there is no 10 foot orc. But the medium sized orcs would be the orc bosses on either side of the orc camp. I go back to the Inn.
This is part one in a series I hope to update every week, during the Friday-Saturday night-morning. I started this around 12 PM and just finished at 2:45. Please enjoy.
Dang. Ya don't realize how hard and tiring story-writing is until you write a story. Please post any critisism or good reviews. If you decide to put this on the website, please give me, Archerlad, credit. If it's not good enough for you *sad, crying* then write your own d**n fan fiction. Jk. I'd really be honored if you put it on the website though. You could start a whole The Adventures of Archerlad page. If my next ones are any good that is. Thanks for reading, I know it's a tad long, I promise the next ones will be slightly shorter.[/glow]
Chapter One
The Orc Invasion
"Message for you, Archerlad" she proclaimed in her formal tone that she would have used if she was talking to her own mother.
" From who?" Archerlad questioned as he plucked the wax-sealed envelope from the waitress' hand.
" Why don't you read it and find out?" she sarcasticly suggested
So Archerlad went inside to get a letter opener (too many minor heroes had tried to kill him because he took all the good jobs. Poison needles in the wax seal was one of their favorite attempt methods. Deadly insects were also another.) He stomped on the letter once, his massive black laced-up boot leaving a dirty imprint on the once clean paper. He then cut the seal with his mini Big 100K letter opener (an exact replica of his own) and opened the letter. Inside were two objects. A letter, and a strange totem. He first removed the letter.
"Archerlad, it seems a primitive tribe has constructed a small fort and camp too close to the city for the citizen's liking. Please try to negotiate with the tribe to see if they will move their camp to a farther location. Also, this is a totem of some kind that we found near the camp. We had no desire to enter, but we saw no gate guards. If you recognize it in any way, it may assist you in the diplomatic mission to the strange camp. If that does not work, you are authorized to use any force short of evil power.
- The Mayor"
"Authorization, funny..." he chuckled to himself as he discarded the letter and examined the totem. "Not ringing any bells..."
After dismissing the waitress, Archerlad strapped the swordbelt and jet black sheath over his freshly ironed cream colored breeches, and headed out the door.
As Archerlad was passing through the common room of the Inn, he grabbed a young man's turkey leg off his plate. As the man started to protest, Archerlad swung the turkey leg around and hit the man square in the nose. The man let out a cry of pain, and fell to the ground, but alive and concsious. Archerlad took a bite out of the turkey leg as he exited through the in-door as a young lady wearing a rasberry beret (the kind you find at a secondhand store) entered through the out-door. The man with the strange hair and girly voice turned around to look at her. Archerlad took this moment to ask her up to his Inn room, and got a slap in the face for his trouble.
Archerlad rode his horse, a plain but strong steed named Shnapps, to the edge of town, and scouted for the strange fort. The mayor neglected to describe it's exact location, but Archerlad found it 2 miles to the east of town. When he reached the gates of the fort, he found it without guards. He rode back a little ways to tie his horse to a stake he had stuck in the ground. He walked back to the fort, and entered, this time in the correct door.
He was immediately greeted by two seven-foot-tall green
men, very muscular and without shirts. They each carried a club with a head the size of a baby, with totems like the one he carried in his pocket on sinews around their necks.
" I come to negotiate the movement of your settlement." he declared as slow and loud and enunciated as he could manage. But the green men, orcs, he figured, only responded in grunts.
Right when Archerlad was going to ask them to take him to their leader, they rushed him with clubs drawn. He whipped out his own weapon, the Big 100K, just intime to decapitate the closer orc, and to parry the other orcs swing. The orc's club was cleaved in two, and the orc rushed him with fists raised. Archerlad punched the orc in the shortribs with his free hand, which delayed the orc long enough for him to drive his sword through its mid-section.
A gong sounded somewhere in the camp, and orcs rushed
out by the hundreds, all with clubs or axes. Archerlad knew he didn't stand a chance taking them all on at once, so he vaulted up to the top of one of the crudely built wood-and-stone huts. The orcs didn't have any ranged weapons. The orcs tried to climb up, but there were few places were the roof was low enough to climb on to, and any who dared grab the roof had their heads hewn off by a sweeping blow of the pitch black sword, now stained with thick, dark blood.
A few orcs left and came back with massive hammers, even larger than their clubs, and began demolishing the building. Archerlad had to think quick. He drew throwing knives, hoping to kill the hammer-bearers and end the demolition, but more and more brought hammers, and he only had 12 knives.
He concentrated all his will into how he could escape the orc rampage, and he felt a warmness, not physically, but somehow in his thoughts. He embraced the warmness in his mind. Words flew through his mind. Not his words, these words were in a tongue he had not heard before. He pondered these words, forgetting the orcs for a moment.
"Sendai leo nasur?" he pondered, and at that moment floating ice crystals appeared above his fingertips. He visualized the ice crystals shooting out at the orcs, and he flicked his hand in the direction of a hammer-wielding orc. The crystals elongated into razor-sharp shards and propelled themselves through the orc at an intense speed, exploding as they embedded themselves in the orcs flesh.
"What on Lore is this!?!?" he exclaimed to himself as he shot hundreds of ice blades into the crowd of orcs, now in the thousands around his temporary defensive position. Then four massive brutes came out of an elaborate building at the middle of the camp. They wore heavy plate armor, and wielded axes the size of the normal orcs. They lumbered towards Archerlad.
Archerlad released a flurry of shards, atleast 100 in number, in a matter of seconds at the four giant orcs, but the ice shattered on their armor, harmlessly. Archerlad knew they would overpower him in close combat. His thoughts flew back to the letter.
"No using evil power, eh? Then maybe I should use evil power!" he joked to himself, but meant. He focused his vision on the only truely evil object he knew. An object won in a game of cards, many years ago, before he was even a pirate captain. The Big 100K.
He channeled the energies flowing through his hands into the blade. He concentrated about every orc there, melting into nothing, imploding into themselves. Then, the sword shook violently. It quivered with all the rage of a wild boar charging at an exposed hunter. Beams of infinite darkness flew from the tip of the blade, still pointed at the sky, but curved down upon the orcs. By the hundreds, orcs seemed to evaporate. Even the berserker orcs, as Archerlad began to call them, evaporated.
Then there were none left. The camp seemed deserted. Archerlad climbed off the roof. As he turned to the door, he heard heavy footsteps behind him. As he turned, he gazed in wonder at the newly appeared orc. Wearing platemail as thick as a wall, with a spiked helmet and a sword as tall as the orc himself, he carried all of it like it was paper. He walked unhindered torward Archerlad. Archerlad sent beams of dark energy at the orc, but the beams were absorbed into a round, white medallion around the orc's neck.
Archerlad tried the ice blades. No luck. He would have to trust his blade to work as a blade. Archerlad waited for the great beast of an orc to charge, but it did not. Archerlad charged in return, only to be knocked to the ground with a fist the size of his head. Archerlad struggled to get up, but the massive orc kicked him down.
Archerlad noted a split between the orc's lower plateleg and the piece covering the knee joint. He silently drew a small, balanced knife from its secret sheath in his lower sleeve by shaking his right hand.
The orc raised it's sword high above its head, point facing down at Archerlads chest. Archerlad whipped his knife into the crack in the orc's leg armor, and hit it's mark. The knife penetrated the orc's knee joint, causing it to fall over. Archerlad rolled just in time to narrowly avoid the orc's massive green body. He grabbed his own sword off the ground and raised it triumphantly. He removed the orc's helmet with a flick of the blade, and removed the orc's head with a single, victorious blow.
The next day...
"Yeah, it was challenging." Archerlad said to his all-female crowd around his private Inn table. "But in the end, I managed to kill the 25 foot orc with only my fists, and one foot tied behind my back."
Archerlad thought for a moment on how lying isn't right, and then remembered that each one of his admirers had bought him a drink in the past few hours. Then he renembered that lying is fun.
Archerlad apoligized to his fans, but he had to go see the mayor. When he got to the City Hall, and asked for the mayor, his secretary ushered him through the door to his left.
" I thought I told you no evil power!" exclaimed the short, old mayor.
" And I thought you wanted the orcs dealt with." rebuttled Archerlad. "The problems eliminated, and I expect payment."
"Fine. The usual?" the mayor asked.
" Of course" replied Archerlad.
The mayor handed over 50,000 gold pieces and a footlong log of pepperoni. Archerlad exited the office. He fired the same question he had asked the rasberry beret woman to the secretary, and earned another slap across the face. He returned to the Inn, back to his Inn table, and eventually upstairs to his room, not alone, and continued to bask in the glory of herodom. On his way, he smirked at the same person he hit with a turkey leg only yesterday. The man glowered with his all-male friends.
THE END
The AQW in-game equivilent: I go from upstairs in the Inn, down to the commonroom. I go to orctown, kill everyone using freeze only, but there is no equivilent of dark magic or anything yet. And also there is no 10 foot orc. But the medium sized orcs would be the orc bosses on either side of the orc camp. I go back to the Inn.
This is part one in a series I hope to update every week, during the Friday-Saturday night-morning. I started this around 12 PM and just finished at 2:45. Please enjoy.
Dang. Ya don't realize how hard and tiring story-writing is until you write a story. Please post any critisism or good reviews. If you decide to put this on the website, please give me, Archerlad, credit. If it's not good enough for you *sad, crying* then write your own d**n fan fiction. Jk. I'd really be honored if you put it on the website though. You could start a whole The Adventures of Archerlad page. If my next ones are any good that is. Thanks for reading, I know it's a tad long, I promise the next ones will be slightly shorter.[/glow]
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